


Naiveté

by theorangewitch



Series: Angstober [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Gen, M/M, UHHHH SORRY, this is super self indulgent I know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 07:40:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16193090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theorangewitch/pseuds/theorangewitch
Summary: Really, he’d been suspicious of Nez from the start. From the moment Nez opened his mouth, he’d been lying to the Mighty Nein, and Caduceus had picked up on that instantly.“I’m looking for my younger sister,” he’d said. Lie. “Her name is Ostara Morgenstern.” Lie. “She had a religious disagreement with our parents, and they put her out.” Lie. “I was at sea at the time—I’m a sailor by trade.” A common enough profession on the Menagerie Coast, but a lie. “As soon as I heard I disembarked. I’ve been wandering the coast looking for her ever since. I just hope she isn’t in any danger. She’s headstrong, but incredibly naive.” Lie. “I’m an excellent tracker,” he added. “On land and at sea. If anyone wants something found, I’m your man.” That statement seemed to be the only truth in his story.





	Naiveté

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is self-indulgent. But the only thing more valid than OC/Canon shipping is having your OC get punched in the face by a canon character. 
> 
> Day 3 of Angstober - Betrayal. You can find a link to the challenge in the first part of this series.

When the elven man who called himself Nez kissed Caduceus Clay on the mouth, Caduceus wasn’t entirely surprised. Really, he’d been suspicious of Nez from the start. From the moment Nez opened his mouth, he’d been lying to the Mighty Nein, and Caduceus had picked up on that instantly. 

“I’m looking for my younger sister,” he’d said. Lie. “Her name is Ostara Morgenstern.” Lie. “She had a religious disagreement with our parents, and they put her out.” Lie. “I was at sea at the time—I’m a sailor by trade.” A common enough profession on the Menagerie Coast, but a lie. “As soon as I heard I disembarked. I’ve been wandering the coast looking for her ever since. I just hope she isn’t in any danger. She’s headstrong, but incredibly naive.” Lie. “I’m an excellent tracker,” he added. “On land and at sea. If anyone wants something found, I’m your man.” That statement seemed to be the only truth in his story. 

None of the other Nein seemed to pick up on it, not even wise Jester or suspicious Caleb. There was something else about Nez, too. Something about the way he looked in Caduceus’ periphery. He was a moon elf, dark-haired and silvery-skinned, and handsome, too. Almost as handsome as Fjord. They had that same sailor’s swagger about them, that effortless charisma and genuine charm, despite the fact that Nez was neither a sailor nor genuine the way Fjord was. But there were times when Caduceus would catch something, catch his form flicker for half an instant, in a way that was just barely noticeable. It tended to happen when Nez took off his hat, a thing of worn, wide-brimmed leather, with a bright blue feather tucked into the band. 

Nez also tended to side-eye Caduceus, especially when they were all talking together. He’d catch Caduceus staring, and raise an eyebrow, or else he’d just stare right back.  _ It’s a challenge, surely,  _ Caduceus thought.  _ He must know I’m suspicious _ . 

After about a week of traveling with Nez, Caduceus finally decided to bring his thoughts up with another member of the group. They’d reacted badly to his past observations, but Nez’s presence was becoming an issue. He wanted to like the elf. He was clever and funny, and as talented as he’d claimed upon his arrival. He was adding a bit of laxness to their group dynamic. He wanted to have fun, that much was clear. But he was still a liar. And liars meant problems. 

But who to talk to about his suspicions? Jester was already extremely fond of Nez, so she was out. Caleb and Nott almost always talked to each other before doing anything, and Caduceus wanted to talk to one person before spreading what could be nothing more than a rumor around the group. So they were out. Fjord, though Caduceus had found him to be a generally nice man, was woefully imperceptive, not to mention that he didn’t seem to like Caduceus all that much, so he was out. But Beau? Beau was distrustful and smarter than she realized. She’d probably believe him. 

So he went to Beau. “Beau,” he said. “Can I talk to you? In private?” He flicked his gaze across their campsite to where Nez and Jester were talking animatedly. He lowered his voice. “It’s about Nez.”

Beau smirked. That was a bad sign. “Yeah, sure.” 

They moved away from the camp and into the woods. Beau kept looking back at the campsite, as if making sure the others were still there. She seemed on edge. “He’s lying to us,” Caduceus began. “Nez is. I’m certain.”

“Well,  _ duh _ ,” Beau snorted. That wasn’t the response he’d been expecting. “We already know. Fjord smelled his ‘I’m a sailor’ bullshit from a mile away. And there’s no way he’s looking for his sister. Looking for a family member is the oldest story in the book.”

“And that doesn’t worry you?”

“Why should it? I lie all the time. Caleb’s a liar, Nott sucks at lying but she’s a liar, and there’s no way Fjord’s telling us everything. Practically every word out of Molly’s mouth was a lie, but he turned out to be super benign. Listen, do I wanna interrogate the shit out of Nez? Of course. But we’ve got other shit to do. We’re on the road. If it comes up, we’ll ask, but in all likelihood, it won’t.”

Caduceus struggled for a moment. “But. What if. I saw something else,” he decided on. “The way he looks. I think it might be an illusion.”

“Listen, Clay, I don’t know a lot about magic, but it seems pretty hard to maintain an illusion twenty-four hours a day for a week straight. Don’t you guys only have so many spells you can cast?”

She had a point there. 

“Anyway, if you’ve noticed him acting shifty around you, I think I know the reason.”

That gave him pause. Caduceus thought Nez had been acting weird because he’d known of Caduceus’ suspicions. What other reason could there be? “What is it?”

“He’s totally into you, man,” Beau said. “He thinks you’re really attractive and he thinks your magic is cool. He uses every excuse to hang out with you.”

“Every...excuse?” As much as he’d observed Nez, Caduceus hadn’t noticed any such behavior, but thinking back on it, Beau was right. He always sat next to Caduceus on the cart, and invited him to share a room at inns, and took watch with him when they couldn’t use the magic hut because Caleb was out of spells. Maybe it was true. Caduceus had never been “into” anybody the way Beau said, and certainly nobody had ever been “into” Caduceus. Was he wrong? Was he mistaking attraction for a worry of being discovered? 

“Think on it, Deuces,” Beau said, patting him on the arm. “But don’t do it out here alone. Could get kidnapped or something.” 

So he followed her back to the campsite. Everyone gathered around Caleb so he could conjure the hut, and then they all began to huddle down inside of it. The dying embers of the fire flickered up the trees, and as snoring permeated the inside of the hut, Caduceus found himself unable to sleep. Nez was a dark shape sitting upright in the corner, meditating instead of sleeping as elves did. His breathing was somehow even louder than Jester and Fjord’s snoring. Then a voice echoed through the hut. “Caduceus? Are you awake?”

“No,” Caduceus replied. 

“Shhh,” Jester said loudly, burrowing her head further into the crook of Caduceus’ arm. 

He watched as Nez stood up and left the hut, passing seamlessly through its transparent walls and sitting back down in front of the remains of the fire. A moment later, almost as if hypnotized, Caduceus followed him, leaving Jester to snort unhappily as her head thudded onto the ground. 

Caduceus found Nez to seemingly have resumed meditating, but as soon as he sat down the elf cracked an eye open. Even in the dark, it was dazzlingly blue. Not blue in the way human eyes were, but a deep sapphire midnight blue. Nez raised a hand, and balls of light bounced out from his fingertips. Caduceus had seen this spell before, it was  _ dancing lights _ , a favorite of Caleb’s. He didn’t know that Nez could cast it. 

“You talk to Beau about me?” Nez asked finally.

Caduceus almost fell over. 

“It’s okay,” Nez said. “She isn’t very quiet, and elves can hear pretty well. Besides, I talked to her about you, too.”

“You did? She didn’t mention that.”

“Then she has more discretion than I thought.”

“Can I ask what you said?” 

Nez smirked. “A lady never tells. But it was mostly questions. I’ve never met a Firbolg before, or a cleric of your specific abilities. You’re unique.” 

And for once, Caduceus could tell for certain that Nez wasn’t lying. 

“But you don’t trust me,” Nez added. 

“I’m sorry.” Caduceus didn’t know what he was apologizing for. He had every right to be suspicious, didn’t he?

“Don’t apologize,” Nez said. “I’m a liar. Always have been. It’s compulsive at this point. And you’re smart. You read people. I’m not surprised that you picked up on my whole shtick.” 

“But why?” Caduceus asked, the words exploding from behind his lips without him really meaning for them to. “What’s the point in lying so much that nobody believes you when you finally tell the truth?”

“See, that’ll never be a problem for me, Caduceus, because I’m never going to tell the truth.”

“Why not?”

“Simple. Because I don’t want anyone to know it. Not even you.” And then he kissed him. 

Caduceus wasn’t surprised, not really. He was more...taken aback. It was sudden and confusing and he didn’t know what to do with his hands or his mouth or his eyes or anything, really. And then Nez pulled back, smiling. Caduceus touched his own cheek, and found that he was smiling too. 

“Well,” Nez said. “We should probably get back to sleep.”

A few mornings passed, and Caduceus found that he somewhat enjoyed flirting with Nez, or rather, he enjoyed being aware of Nez flirting with him. He wasn’t very good at responding yet, but Nez didn’t seem to mind. Caduceus thought it was funny when Beau rolled her eyes at them, or when he caught Nott and Jester watching them from behind a tree. Nez didn’t kiss him again, and Caduceus wasn’t about to initiate anything. But he was thinking about it. 

Then one morning he woke up to Beau shaking him. “Clay, Clay, get up. Clay, Nez is gone. And so is the dodecahedron.” 

Caduceus didn’t entirely understand the dodecahedron’s purpose, but he knew it was important, and if it and Nez were gone. Well. That didn’t sound good. 

They fanned out until Beau spotted a trail of kicked up leaves leading off into the woods, and then they all converged. Beau took off, sprinting ahead of everyone else. By the time the rest of them caught up, Beau was already engaged in a tussle with Nez--and the dodecahedron. But Nez didn’t look like himself. His hat was lying on the ground at the edge of the clearing, and Caduceus realized that it must be magical, and his skin, instead of pale and silvery was a dim grayish color, and his hair, instead of black, was white. He wasn’t a moon elf at all. He was drow. 

“You lying bastard!” Beau shouted, leaves crunching as she rolled away from him. The dodecahedron was wrapped in her arms. 

“You knew I was lying,” Nez retorted. “You have no one to blame but yourself. But I see your friends are here.” He leapt to his feet and dashed at them with the force of careening carriage. He aimed himself right at Nott, but she expertly dodged out of the way, leading him to plow full-force into Jester, wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders and using the other to position a knife at her throat. He spat blood out and grinned. “I hoped it wouldn’t have to come to this. Really, what is that thing worth to you guys anyway? An extra bit of luck? Give it to me or I slit Jester’s throat.” 

“Beau, don’t,” Jester choked out. 

“Who are you,” Beau asked, but was more like a demand. 

“A tracker, like I said.”

“But this whole time you were tracking us,” Fjord extrapolated. 

“That is ours, and you stole it. It took me months to find out what happened to it after our seekers failed at returning. Zadash, first,” Nez began. “See, the crownsguard there have a funny story about a priceless Xhorhasian relic exploding in the air shortly after being taken from the Xhorhasian spies who tried to reclaim it, but of course, that wasn’t really the relic, was it? I asked around after that, found out who saw the relic explode. There were these two punk kids, said they saw a brown-skinned woman dressed all in blue who told them to fuck off. Said she looked a lot like one Beauregard who happened to compete in the Victory Pit contest not too long after. I connected the dots from there. ‘Course, I had to wait awhile for you to let me know what you did with the damn thing. You were smart enough not to take it out in front of me. If you’d only pawned it off,” Nez sighed. “We wouldn’t be in this situation now.” He smiled. “I actually like you guys.” He turned his gaze to Caduceus. “Especially you. You’re smart, you read people. But you’re so naive.” 

The words bounced off of Caduceus like a stone off of a boulder. “Drop,” he commanded, the spell ringing out through the clearing. 

Nez froze, his knuckles slowly unlocking from around the knife at Jester’s throat so that it fell harmlessly to the ground. Instantly, Jester turned around and uppercutted Nez so hard that his feet left the ground and he went flying backwards into a tree, a strange, dark stain spreading across his skin, a signifier of the  _ inflict wounds  _ spell Jester had just cast on him. Beau passed the dodecahedron to Nott as Caleb held out his hand to cast  _ hold person _ , and then Beau pounced on Nez, quickly coiling a rope around him so that he was tied to the tree he’d slammed into.

As Nez came to his senses, Caduceus sat down in front of him, a  _ zone of truth  _ radiating out from where he sat. He kept his face expressionless as he felt the spell take hold of Nez, but inside a word reverberated around his brain:  _ Blind _ . 

“So, Nez,” he said, heaving a deep sigh. “Will you tell the truth now?”

“It’s Nerezzus,” Nez corrected. “Nerezzus Iuno.”

“That’s better,” Caduceus said. 

But then Nez--Nerezzus--looked up at him and smiled. Cruelly. “Is it?” 

In the end, they left him there, tied to that tree. Caleb placed his hand on his shoulder and said, “I have no doubt that you will escape, but if you ever come looking for us again, you will not escape with your life.”

“And how will you know it’s me?” Nerezzus asked, grinning again. 

“I’ll know,” Caduceus said, and he didn’t have a doubt in his mind that he would. That grin would look the same on any face. And then they walked away. 

As they climbed in the cart, Beau turned to him and said, “I’m sorry, Cad. I should’ve listened to you.” Fjord was right; she was getting better at apologizing.

“It’s not your fault. It was my own naiveté,” Caduceus said. 

“If it makes you feel any better, I do think he was genuinely attracted to you.”

“It doesn’t, really.”

“Oh. Sorry.” 


End file.
